(In picture: Swell Caroline Earrings, KJP Bracelet, Lilly Pulitzer Dress, J.Crew Bangle, Polo Ralph Lauren Sweater, Tommy Hilfiger Sweater)
No I do not need therapy. I promise I only have a mild (huge) obsession and collection of anchors.
A San Diego native who was shipped to the Northeast, and then decided to attend college in the South...I couldn't tell you where my collection even started, or why I initially fell in love with the global symbol for stability. Maybe because I feel like my life is never completely stable (which it shouldn't be yet), and is ever changing that I have developed a love for the symbol that completely contrasts my current spot in life. Not to get all philosophical, but maybe like my love of anchors, I am constantly trying to get to the future without enjoying the present. Why? Because knowing what my future holds allows me to prepare for it...which means stability.
And there you have it...I have just confessed to being a total control freak. Kalyn, the weirdo girl who is preparing for the zombie apocalypse (not really). But sure, I want to be successful, and I want to know if I will be right now. I want the biggest girl job you can find me, no baby-steps along the way, please. I'm a leaps and bounds type of girl (now gentlemen...no I do not mean in relationships so don't even snicker at that).
Then I feel as if I am also the opposite...not only do I want to see what the future may hold, but I also tend to dwell in the past. I think of all the things I would have done differently...I regret a lot; even on teeny insignificant things...and through my life I have actually become a little bit less outgoing, and a little bit more cautious when it comes to friendships and relationships. Do I think guarding your heart is a good thing? Yes. Do I think getting to know someone slowly is a good thing? Absolutely...but there comes a point where you know that your guard has been up way too long, and you wish you knew how to lower the walls that are stopping you from developing a really special bond with someone.
Social Media these days has had a huge impact on the way we as society function. We constantly compare ourselves to what we see on our Facebooks, or go through our old pictures thinking about the good ole' days. It's pointless. It really does no good except make us want more and not appreciate the life we are currently living. It anchors us down.
I am anchored down by my impatience of the future, and the reminiscence of the past. I know that, and am trying each day to overcome the weights that bind me from truly enjoying my life (not that I don't). I have been hurt, and will probably be hurt again...but why am I putting all my blame and energy on a past relationship that didn't work out? Why am I spending time worrying about the future...when I know I will one day get to where I want to be if I work at it hard enough. We put so much pressure on ourselves when we are worrying about things we can't help. I can't help that I have been hurt in the past...so instead of using that as an excuse...I need to focus on the present, and enjoying my life. We can find reasons to feel anxious or upset...but we can also find even more reasons to be thankful and excited about each day as it comes. When you are truly happy...that is when your future takes ahold of you, and blesses you in ways you can't imagine.
Don't ever forget where you came from, or the lessons you have learned along the way. People are put into our lives to teach us. Look back on the good and bad, and know that you are better from it...and take baby steps instead of leaps and bounds to truly grow as a person.
The first being to admit what is anchoring you down, so you can slowly lift it off the ocean's floor and begin to sail again.
(I am such a nerd with all my analogies...just call me your 2013 Plato...
my anchor analogy, his cave allegory...basically the same level).
God bless y'all!