Wednesday, February 22, 2012

You're Strange, but I Like You

Hey Preps!

Oh, I am as corny as it gets.  Sure, I can be forgetful.  Maybe I am not
serious enough...I am allergic to grass, but I am standing in it.  One of my
favorite outfits are skirts and wellies.  This is me, and I am okay with
whether you like it or not.  It won't make me change, because
I am happy the way I am. 

Just watched this weeks episode of 'The Bachelor', which I DVR-ed.  Sometimes you just need time to unwind and watch a little bit of melodramatic TV.  'The Bachelor' is my show.  My girlfriend (and photographer) Amy, text the whole show.  Mostly it's cracking jokes at how desperate the girls are or why the bachelor is such a clueless knucklehead.  Regardless, it is my junkie TV fix for the week.

As I was watching the show today, I watched as several girls completely destroyed their chances of being Mrs. Bachelor, and they had no clue.  When they were rejected, they were shocked and kept wondering what they did wrong.  Statements like, "I tried to be everything he wanted" or "I gave up so much for him, why doesn't he want me, why am I not good enough" were common as they bawled their eyes out in the rejection limo.

It sounds completely pathetic but how many times do we do the same thing with a significant other?  We change for them, wrap our world around them, and try to be the best we can be...only to be left heartbroken and wondering what we could have done better to keep them.

My most recent past relationship, I gave up too much.  I was doing everything I could to make him happy, and that wasn't enough...I wasn't focusing on my career, what I wanted for my future, and was giving up my passions and time with friends to travel to see him.

When we broke up, I thought I was going to have a long road to recovery.  I didn't think I would ever find someone who compared to him...yet as I distanced myself from him and our past relationship, and started focusing on myself again, I have found true happiness.  I look at that relationship and see the flaws, not only his, but my own, which I stated above.  I have learned from what I did wrong in that relationship, and know I will never make those mistakes twice.

From now on, I am focusing on ME.  I have had so much more time to enjoy long runs, I am not tired from staying up late worrying about relationships, that I feel like I have the energy to accomplish whatever I wish.  There is no dwelling on when he will text me back when I go out with friends...the cell phone stays in the purse.  My career, social life, and fitness bring so much happiness into my life, that I wonder why I wasn't single sooner?  

It feels so great to talk about my accomplishments, and to help others without having the distraction of worrying about pleasing someone else.  Ya feel me?

So why are we so desperate in relationships sometimes?  If they don't want to be with you, then let it be. Don't ever try to force something to stay together that isn't working.  Chances are if you are already struggling now, you will struggle if you end up together.  A relationship should be a safe place where you don't feel judged or worried about saying the right things in order to keep the other person happy.  They should be proud of who they are with...and if they aren't...someone else will be one day. I promise.

Back to this bachelor show thing, it isn't the end of the world to be broken up with.  It may temporarily feel that way, but you can't dwell on it.  For me, it was an eye opener on how much of myself I had given up.  So I didn't dwell on the past a minute more, and have been living my life to the fullest.  I am proud of who I am...sure I have quirks, and things that will drive my future husband bonkers someday.  Yet, I won't settle for someone who doesn't love those quirks and doesn't respect me for who I am.

I am a firm believer that you learn from every relationship you are in.  What you learn prepares you for your future relationship and makes you a better, stronger person.  I did learn a lot from my past, and I am just content growing up a little on my own right now.

That doesn't mean I don't talk to boys though.  Oh baby.  So here's the I said earlier I missed my favorite TV show.  That rarely happens...but I had to deal because I went on a date.  Amy texted me saying, "Sheesh you must like this guy if you are missing your show for him".  Oh yes, it was quite the sacrifice, but I am happy I did because I had a great time.  Sure, it wasn't my first date since being single, but this time was a tad different.  The conversation was great, the guy was dreamier than the bachelor, and I think I am still permanently red in the face from being so flustered the whole night.  I haven't felt that in a while.

Does that mean I am going to text him constantly, or start planning the wedding tomorrow?  Heck no!  I am busy.  There is NYC this weekend, spring break, school, my career and internship, my fitness... I don't have the time to possibly do that.  Neither does he, and I like that.

So my advice to you?  Be happy on your own before you try to be happy with someone else.  Someone right is out there for you, but don't go searching.  Instead, live your life to the fullest...because that is when Mr. or Mrs. Right will come around, and they will love you for the weirdo that you are.

You are a weirdo you know.  Almost as big of one as me.  

Hope y'all are having a blessed week!


Ashley said...

Great post!!! So does this mean you are going to see the guy again?! He sounds like a great catch if you guys can fit into each others schedule!!

Grace said...

Great advice! Good luck with the guy, though! :)

I love Rubber Wellingtons said...

WOW Kalyn you look lovely and so dishy wearing your Skirt and Wellies they are are adorable.

Anonymous said...

OMG You've got your Wellingtons on mmmmmmm I think you look fab,thanks for posting.

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